My work brought me in touch with various embassies but I had no one among the foreigners who was a close friend. Maybe it was due to my English, which I could 10t speak with a good accent. But as I was 10t holding a high position there was no need :or me to be perfect in that respect. It was me as long as I could understand and was able :0 make myself understood. Anyway, apart from receptions hosted by my department, I have no desire to attend parties. For a long time now I had become bored with them.
But even as I avoided these functions, I became friends with William, an American. He was a liaison officer working with some American experts working at th.e National Planning Department.
He often invited me to their receptions and I would decline. At one party that our department was hosting, he said to me, sounding disgruntled.
"Ma Khin Yu, in your line of work you need to go out more, you know. You're too shy.."
"Thanks, William, but I don't enjoy these affairs. Do you?"
"Not really, fiutlts part of my work." "My job is only temporary, you know. It's exhausting to stand around smiling mean- inglessly at these affairs."
He looked at me and chuckled. After I left my job, I took time off to get a good rest. Sometimes I would go into the garden to write short stories. My life among the trees, the flowers, and the breeze was nothing at all like the life I had left. My life of greeting and serving ambassadors, colonels and ministers, running around like a little minion, meeting the poverty-stricken people and listening to their woes, all those stressful times were behind me.
William would come often to my little haven. Every time he would say as if to a close friend, "My, how peaceful it is! So great to see you like this!"
Sometimes he would take me to church and I would take him along when I go to the Shwedagon Pagoda. We would often discuss r.eligious matters. Buddhism has very deep insights and to explain them in English was rather tiring.
But William said it was fine. "You think too little of yourself, it's quite all right the way you explain, in your own way. We Americans are not fond of big words, like the Brits."
Sometimes he would tell me about th'e A~erican way of life and sometimes we would discuss ours.
One day we came down from the Shwedagon Pagoda and walked towards the statue of Bo Gyoke Aung San inside the Kandawgyi Park. In front of us we saw three girls: two wore sheer nylon jackets over bras and we could see their bellies quite clearly. The third wore tight jeans and a short- sleeved shirt. Their hair was tied up in pony- tails.
"Hey, look, Ma Khin Su, they're Myanmar girls!" William said to me. I did not immedi- ately understand what he meant. He did not speak much that evening and we returned home before sundown.
Next day, while I was looking up a word in my books William dropped in.
"Good evening, Ma Khin Su, am I disturb- ing you?"
I shook my head. "Its almost evening, I was about to stop work. Do you want to talk?"
"Come, let's walk in the garden." We walked in my garden, which is not neatly laid out but very. pleasant and peace- ful. We sat on a bench and chatted desultorily. By his face I knew he had something to say.
"You know, since I came to Myanmar, I had been noticing how you all live, the wonderful culture, the people's characters. .."
He began what I assumed has been dwelling on his mind.
"So..?"
"After becoming friends with you, knowing you is also in a way of knowing your people".
"Go on."
"Well, so what I saw is that you people smile a lot! Really, its not easy to smile, you know, without meaning it . Only when you feel eased in your mind, only if you are light hearted, then you can smile. But then, you don't live in big mansions or own new cars, and I see you living happy as you. You won't see contentment on our faces. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Yes, I do," I replied.
"We work hard, and then afterwards we try to wind down and relax in many ways....sometimes we even have to take pills! But we're not really happy..."
"You mean, malcontent?"
"Yes, exactly! That's what I mean, the exact word. We give in to all our desires to ind contentment and yet we are malcontents. On one side, we are progressing with material wealth, with our cars and skyscrapers, but to look at the faces of your people ... you really seem at ease, contented , happy."
"You see, William, according to the teachings of Buddha, it's a blessing to be contented.'
"Yes, I was going to say that. When I thought about how you people, without the meterial wealth we have, can be so comfortable I realise it's your Buddhist philosophy. That is your saving grace!"
I smiled at his words, thinking it was worthwhile to be friends with such a person. "But, did you notice, there's one sad thing... when we are craning our necks to look up at the contentment of your chaotic life style and going in that direction. I feel really uneasy about that."
He spoke as if he really felt heavy in his heart.
"I think so, too, William, I try in my small way to help prevent that but my hand is only this big."
He looked, smiling, at my hand I spread before him. I suddenly recalled the Jakata story of Meitta Waindaka. He had seen the Nga Ye Pan (Hell Flowers) worn on the head of those in purgatory and thinking they were lotus, had demanded to be given one. Only when it was unsure how to translate the word Nga Ye Pan, I felt like hitting myself on the head.But when I explained in detail, William understood what I was saying and nodding his head several what I was saying and nodding his head several times, muttered in his fractured accent the words " Nga Ye Pan" over and over again.
" Nga Ye Pan " 1959 June Myawaddy Magazine Translated by MTG
Her real name was Ma Khin Su and she was born in 1925 in a delta town of Wakema. She was highly active in youth organisations of the struggle for Independence. Her first short story under this pen name was published in 1947. She has won two prestigious literary awards and has written nearly 60 books of novels and short story collections. She passed away in 2003. |
